House Snakes

Who knows what lurks in the corners of suburban British Columbia…

When Benno was a baby we had a Diaper Genie for his dirty diapers. For those of you who have never used one of these, you put the diaper into the device, push it down, then twist the top, thus sealing the diaper in the plastic. The next used diaper then fits on top of the twist and creates another cocoon-like package, and so on until you had a bunch of diapers linked together like sausages. When the pail was full you would twist another part of the top and a small razor would chop off the chain of diapers and you would start all over.

Now, what most people don’t know is that the chain of diapers from a Diaper Genie is, in fact, a Diaper Snake. And it is pretty crafty. At the time we were living in my parents house, and the Diaper Snake liked nothing better than to sneak up on people or hide is unsuspecting places. The victim would come around the corner and jump with shock as he or she beheld the grinning maw of the Snake, features finely etched into its face, almost as if put there with he delicate strokes of a Sharpie. It was a fearsome sight to behold.

Sadly, the Diaper Snake is no more. He ended his illustrious career after Cate was out of diapers. But his cousin, the Vacuum Snake, still terrorizes our townhouse. Or at least he did, until I caged that wily beast.

For months, the main floor of our house looked like this:

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Here we see the Vacuum Snake coiled, ready to spring and wrap himself around the legs of unsuspecting victims. He would slither around the floor, totally blocking the walkway, causing mayhem.

Finally, I remembered the spare laundry basket, and I corralled the beast.

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While this curtailed his slithering activity, it didn’t prevent John from gnawing on the snaky carcass at every opportunity. Not the most sanitary thing for an eleven month old to be teething on.  Clearly, something had to give.

One day the opportunity presented itself. Darren had brought up our cedar chest for use as an extra seat at the dining table and additional storage. After much pondering I moved the games from the shelf in the hall closet to the cedar chest, thus freeing up valuable closet space. And into the void went the Vacuum Snake.

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I am happy to report that the House Snakes have been vanquished!  Ha ha!

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One thought on “House Snakes

  1. Tom

    Thanks for the Hiss-tory of the snakes. By the way, “it looks like a snyke, but it’s not a snyke!” (Cary Grant; Father Goose).

    Reply

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